Monday, October 22, 2012

Raising A Man

Mothering a boy is really something.

Max is not a baby anymore, hasn't been for years.  However, I have to stop viewing and mothering him that way.

It is so, so clear to me.

I often stop myself from doing something for him that I've always done.  Or pushing him to do something he's not had to do before.  It's a complete brain shift.

I've stopped talking to him like he's a teeny boy, and talk to him in an all different tone.  A lot of times thinking, "Oh I was to harsh or stern...", but he takes it and moves forward, reminding me that he is growing up and can take it.

There are also times I will call Scott and say, "am I babying Max if I ....?"

Ya know, no one tells you this stuff when you have a boy.

I am a care-taker, and of course my natural tendency is going to be to do things for him that I know he can do by himself.

But that is not best for Max.  It is my job to push him toward independence regardless of what my heart says.  And when I do, he has such a sense of accomplishment and it is all around more positive.

I love Max and desire for him to be independent and strong.  I do not want to raise a momma's boy.  Though this goes against everything in my heart.

But it's not about me.

It's about this boy...who will become a man.

1 comment:

irish coffee and chocolate said...

I struggle with this as well, especially as my only boy is the youngest (my baby). I need wisdom to know how to "push" him to become a man. I know I need to do this but its the knowing how that is hard for me.
Christine O.