Mothering a boy is really something.
Max is not a baby anymore, hasn't been for years. However, I have to stop viewing and mothering him that way.
It is so, so clear to me.
I often stop myself from doing something for him that I've always done. Or pushing him to do something he's not had to do before. It's a complete brain shift.
I've stopped talking to him like he's a teeny boy, and talk to him in an all different tone. A lot of times thinking, "Oh I was to harsh or stern...", but he takes it and moves forward, reminding me that he is growing up and can take it.
There are also times I will call Scott and say, "am I babying Max if I ....?"
Ya know, no one tells you this stuff when you have a boy.
I am a care-taker, and of course my natural tendency is going to be to do things for him that I know he can do by himself.
But that is not best for Max. It is my job to push him toward independence regardless of what my heart says. And when I do, he has such a sense of accomplishment and it is all around more positive.
I love Max and desire for him to be independent and strong. I do not want to raise a momma's boy. Though this goes against everything in my heart.
But it's not about me.
It's about this boy...who will become a man.
1 comment:
I struggle with this as well, especially as my only boy is the youngest (my baby). I need wisdom to know how to "push" him to become a man. I know I need to do this but its the knowing how that is hard for me.
Christine O.
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