I have seen so much this week. With my eyes and my heart.
Max and I had a battle of wills. There was no winner. But through that very difficult afternoon the Lord had His hand on me and I kept my cool. I will admit this is not always the case.
Also in that situation, I really saw more of Max, what he is made of. With tears running down my face, I begged God to guide me as I attempt to mold that strong-will into a passion and steadfastness for eternal things.
I then saw an incredible softness and depth to that little boys heart. As he carried around a tiny picture I had made that had been part of our battle in the first place. He sat it next to his plate at dinner tonight. I choked up and asked him why he was carrying around the picture. He looked at it, grinned, then said, "because I like it". I held his little hand expressing to him how much he meant to me.
We had come full circle.
The cherry on top of my day was an evening out with Jenna Skye. She is moving into her big girl bed this weekend and we went shopping for all her linens.
We left the house at her usual bedtime but you would never know it, she is such a happy girl. We chatted through Marshall's and T J Maxx, I would ask her opinion on her sheet set or quilt. Yes, at 2 1/2 she has a clear opinion. My precious girl Jenna.
We finished out our evening going through the Dairy Queen drive-thru for a small Heath Blizzard. I parked, put her up front with me and we shared our treat. I was disappointed when we were done. I did not want the evening to end.
I have to be honest here and say that in my teens and 20's I had some extremely dark and lonely days. Days that turned into months, months that turned into years. I would lay in my bed and dream of times like I'm living now. In my darkest hours I did not believe those days would ever come, I honestly did not think I would survive. But in a broken whisper I would still ask Him.
Oh thank you sweet, faithful Father. You were listening and You brought me, full circle.
5 comments:
Great post, Lisa. I always appreciate your honesty. It is nice to look back and remember what the Lord has done for us, isn't it? It renews hope when we remember how far He has brought us.
God is so sweet in the gifts He gives us and the hard times just make us appreciate them that much more.
Donna
this brought tears to my eyes. thanks for sharing, Lisa. i love full circle moments...they are the best!
Lisa, your post touched my heart because I can relate so much. The battle of the wills is tiring, and when I lose my temper, I don't like myself. I'm always so thankful when God shows me the right way to respond. I'm glad you had a wonderful day and epiphany with your son, and I pray for many more!
Time goes by so quickly with kids. Your hard work will pay off in the end. Don't ever give up! Let me know how the big girl bed is going!
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